We’re Peacekeepers!

So does anyone have any suggestions for kidnapping a 28 year old, strong guy? I need to hide him from the army, so they can’t send him to Afghanistan now or at any time in the near future.

First I read that Canadians should expect casualties of our soldiers serving in Afghanistan. They are serving in areas where US soldiers have been maimed and killed by suicide bombers, car bombs, etc. EXPECT CASUALTIES?! No, no, we’re peacekeepers. PEACEKEEPERS!!! You know, those friendly Northeners who say “have a beer, eh!”. As a whole we don’t take ourselves very seriously, but THIS is not funny! We’re Peacekeepers…we don’t shoot, we bring aid, we’re the NICE GUY!!

Then. THEN. I read today that our government wants to send our fleet of Sea King Helicopters over to aid in the peacekeeping efforts. What? What?!!! These so called “helicopters” are famous for falling out of the sky without notice. They are older than my mother’s Beatles records and the tin they’re made out of isn’t fit to be recycled into tuna cans! The only help our military will get out of the Sea Kings is if they fall out of the sky on the enemy…but that’s not very good for peacekeeping is it?…AND we’re Peacekeepers…do we even have an enemy?

This young man I want to kidnap has recently been trained in the fine art of BOMB DISPOSAL and is on call to go to Hell-ghanistan! Why can’t they send him up to Alert, in the Northwest Territories where he can protect the Inuit from wild sled dogs?

This young man is my baby brother…Uncle Freddy Fortine. He is coming home to visit today for two weeks.

I have 14 days to make a plan…

Time until I’m back with my family: 1 hour, 8 minutes (then I get to see Freddy!)

Laundry List: Zeenee did it…and the vacuuming…and washed the floor…and scrubbed the bathroom. Uhm, luckiest Mom alive anyone?

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