He didn’t really say that…did he?

So…had coffee come flying out my nose this morning. Was reading
the following in my local paper…

A man took multiple bullets to the torso in a double shooting outside a Coquitlam apartment complex yesterday and collapsed inside on a resident’s doorstep.

The 39-year-old Maple Ridge man and a 25-year-old man who lives in the complex were shot just before 7 a.m.

The younger victim remained by the shabby complex’s pebbled-concrete front stairs
next to the sidewalk.

The older man made it through the front doors, which have a broken lock, and ended up on a unit’s doorstep.

His loud moans drew Andrei Gavrilas, 21, down the hall from his one-bedroom apartment.

“I heard his cries, luckily,” said Gavrilas, who was just going to sleep after playing video games all night.

The man on the floor was bleeding heavily from six bullet wounds to the chest and abdomen, Gavrilas said.

“I plugged his gaps,” he said. “I took some Bounty [paper towels], the quicker picker-upper, and applied some pressure to his wounds.

“He was conscious, but feeling like he was dying. He said he got shot in the heart. He could feel it — he couldn’t breathe.

“He was trying to get up. He was on his back and he was rolling around, like a pig, like a piece of game that just got shot.”

Outside by the stairs, the other man lay immobile, with two bullet wounds in his torso, he said.

That victim, a resident of the Parkside apartments in the 1000-block King Albert Avenue, is “a pretty quiet guy,” Gavrilas said.

What the hell?! Who talks like that? The guy must have been under a lot of stress or on drugs…“I plugged the holes with Bounty…the quicker, picker upper” ???!!!

That hurts…coffee through the nasal passages…ouch!

Desperate to be a Housewife

Time until I’m back with my family: 7 hours, 30 minutes.

Laundry List: One load! (D2bH runs around like a boxer after a victory fight…)

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One response to this post.

  1. THat is truly one of the most bizarre-ly descriptive news articles I have ever read. bounty, the quicker picker upper. wow.

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