GM: A Pox On Your House

Dear GM:

This letter serves as notice that we will NEVER buy a piece of crap product from you EVER again for at least one million years. Piss me off again and we’ll make it two million.

Yours truly,

Crazy Montana Owner Soccer Mom

I took our van in for its regularly scheduled maintenance this morning. For a mere $300.00 we get the oil changed, the engine tapped with a wrench, the computer thinga-ma-doo-ee hooked up for life support, the spark plugs will be sparkled, the tires rotated (they seem to rotate every time I drive the van, but what do I know about cars…oh look! A birdy!) and a free air freshener…well…free if you don’t count the three hundred dollars we have to pay to get it out of purgatory this afternoon. When I dropped it off I had to call Cheap Bastard, because I wasn’t aware that it was going to cost two weeks worth of groceries to have it fixed. Then I got a ride to work with the cute little old man who drives people around all day. Then I got a call. From the evil service guy at GM.

We need new front brakes. On a van that is only a year old. They want three hundred more dollars for that. I got Cheap Bastard to call them, because what do I know from brakes? As far as I’m concerned that van has stopped every time I’ve pressed the brake pedal…and for that I’m thankful (as is CB from that time I almost ran him over at the train station, but stopped just in time half on the sidewalk and half on the street. Then, instead of being remorseful that I almost killed my spouse, I laughed like a maniac all the way home). It seems the brakes are only at 15% and of course they’re not covered by the warranty. So Cheap Bastard said fix’em. We’re going to Victoria in two weeks and I guess we might need them…with our luck they’d fail just as we were driving onto the ferry. We’d be first in line. Drive onto the ferry. Brake. Fail. Sploosh! Into the water off the front of the boat.

If you’re still playing along our bill is now at $600.00. Plus GST (7%). Plus PST (7%). Plus free air freshener.

CEO of GM. I’ve got a voodoo doll with your name on it…and I’m gonna Google how to use it…

Desperate to be a Housewife

Time until I’m back with my family: 4 hours, 12 minutes, $684.00, free air freshener

Laundry List: 684 loads, free air freshener provided by Downey


One response to this post.

  1. LOL…love your writing Vicky….look theres a bird…ROTF

    van maintenance sucks!! well any car maintenance…..thankfully my BIL just opened his own shop….so not so expensive!

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