In Pursuit of the Promised Land

We are heading down to the lovely United States for the weekend, where the shopping flows like milk and honey…and the wallets are emptied faster than the canteen of a wanderer lost in the desert. And the Canadian dollar is almost at par with the U.S. dollar right now, so CHA-CHING! We’re leaving Friday morning at 9:00, so my Mastercard should implode sometime around noon. Zeenee can’t wait, as she’s been in need of some summer clothes since mid-June and we’ve kept telling her to wait until we go to Seattle because we’ll get better deals there. Budgie and Bella made $25.00 each at our yard sale last weekend selling their toys, so they’re already scheming about the booty they plan to buy with their windfall.

And can you say OUTLET STORES? Yeah, we don’t have many of those up here and the ones that we do have are lame. Zee and I went online the other night and found an outlet MALL in Tulalip with…wait for it…100 stores! A. Hundred. Stores! Zeenee’s best friend went down two weeks ago and bought Nike Shox for $49.00 at the Nike outlet store, so Zee is pretty pumped about going there. She also wants to get some Holister gear and look at some Converse shoes.

Me? I would like to plant myself in the Coach outlet store for the entire day, where I will stroke and pet all the various handbags and mutter sweet nothings into their zipper tags. Zeenee swears they’re going to have to drag me out of there kicking and screaming, clutching a handbag and screaming “just five more minutes! I just want to HOOOOOLLLLDDD it for five more minutes!” She thinks they might resort to giving me the bag for free, just to get me to leave the store. So, I’ll be giving that tactic a fair shot. It’s ridiculous really. I had never even heard of Coach until I started reading Amalah about six months ago and now Amy has turned me into a raving “lilac-demi-D-ring-buttersoftleather-comes-with-dustbag-for-storage” maniac. I’m on ebay at least once a week drooling over the selections and wishing I could be the sole bidder on one of my favourites and score it for 20 bucks (Dreamer!). So yes, it’s all HER fault for having an interesting blog that probably sends subliminal messages for the Coach corporation directly into a reader’s brain…by osmosis or some such thing. I may have to sue Amy for damages to my mental state. Then I could use the money to buy some Coach bags.

Anyways, so that’s what we’re doing this weekend. Shopping!

…oh, and we’re going to the zoo in Seattle on Saturday. But really, who wants to discuss a bunch of smelly animals…when there’s shopping! And also? Who wants to spend five hours at the zoo on a Saturday when one could be shopping? Me, that’s who. Cause I will be there for my children’s enjoyment…to see their adorable hazel/brown eyes light up as the lions and tigers and bears (oh my!) frolic in the summer sun (and I will keep telling myself that all day Saturday as the elephant manure fills my nostrils with pure joy!). Sunday will find us….shopping. And heading home sometime after midnight when the shops are closed (if we were to have it my way)…or knowing Cheap Bastard, sometime before dawn when the shops are still closed, thereby preventing me from spending the remainder of our mortgage, food and utilities money for the coming month (the kids, however, will probably have to find their own money for college after this weekend).

Memo to self: take birth certificates, marriage license, citizenship papers, last will and testament, drivers licenses, blood and urine samples, DNA records, tax returns for the last 7 years and passports out of files at home. Need to safely cross border…

…also, remove all citrus fruit from van to prevent body cavity search and seizure of assets. Those border guards must be allergic or anti-citrus fruit or something…

Time until I’m back with my family: 5 hours, 11 minutes

Laundry List: launder just enough clothes to get us down to Tulalip, where we will buy new wardrobes for all!!! (Cheap Bastard doesn’t read here, but I’m willing to bet he just had a mysterious icy chill run through his entire body as I typed that last sentence…MWA-HA-HA!)


4 responses to this post.

  1. Have a great trip!!! Sounds like FUN!!! Shopping with your teenaged daughter!! YA!!! I have boys….my oldest is 9 and is content to wear the free shirts he gets from playing sports….so i have a closet full of nice shirts that have barley been worn!! HA!!!!!

    Wanted to comment on an old post of yours….
    God Bless you for having it in your heart to be a SAHM! There are so many moms who don’t even have an ounce of this desire….they like getting away from their kids. Once in awhile, sure, we all need a break. But come on!!! If they want someone else to raise their children perhaps they shouldn’t have had children in the first place. Kind of harsh I know….i probably shouldn’t judge. ANYWAY, I hope that you guys can find a way that you can get your dream…. It is tough on one income…but we’ve made it happen somehow through the grace of God these past 4 years (i lived on both sides! this one is much better!) Maybe if you have another baby you could stay home??? 😉 HA!!!????

    I’d share my story with ya but if you want you can always check out my blog if you want!!!

    Have a great trip an ENJOY this time with your family!!! 🙂

  2. Dude. Don’t bother suing me, as Coach already owns all my money.

    Coach outlets…. mmmppphhhffsssss…yum. jealous!

  3. Have fun…those Coach outlets are dangerous. There’s one not too far from here and that’s just plain dangerous.


  4. OMG, the Premium Outlet Mall ROCKS. I was just there back in April. Didn’t spend nearly as much time there as I wanted to, what with a toddler who hates shopping (gasp, the horror), but there were many many pretty stores. I did manage to score myself a pair of Skechers for cheap cheap. And some toddler clothes, of course.

    The zoo was pretty good too – a couple hours worth of wandering around anyway. But the shopping? I MUST GO BACK. And spend about a week so I get to bring more back for free!

    Have a great time!

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