Laugh, Wonder, Weep

Something that made me laugh today:

A story in the Province Newspaper today. No, actually a small blurb on the sidebar in the Province Newspaper. About a squirrel who broke into (stupid, drunk, vagrant, lawless squirrels these days) a Hydro station and zapped himself on the lines and basically threw Kitsalano into a blackout yesterday for a couple of hours. My favourite line: “The squirrel did not survive.” Because, you know, we were all waiting breathlessly to see how things would turn out for THE SQUIRREL! R.I.P. Nutty McNutterson.

Something that made me wonder today:

A bumper sticker on the back of the car in front of me in the Wendy’s drive-thru lane. I know. Wendy’s again. Seriously, I have no other choice for food around here without crossing the traintracks and risking a noontime, 3 million car train that leaves me waiting in a long traffic jam and uses up my lunch hour for the next six weeks…and I had the salad! The bumper sticker said: “Kids who hunt, trap and fish don’t mug little old ladies!” (it was by the BC Wildlife Federation…WTH?) So who paid for that study (It was the Canadian taxpayers again wasn’t it Stephen Harper? I’m on to you!)? And how many little old ladies had to lose an eye because they were struck by some kid flailing a fishing pole around in the laboratory as the scientists were studying this freak occurrence in nature? And how do they KNOW that kids who hunt, trap and fish don’t mug little old ladies? It’s just so completely illogical. How do they equate one thing with the other? It’s like saying “Kids who eat tomatoes, carrots and liver sausage don’t turn into serial killers.” I don’t know. Maybe they were trying to be sarcastic…it was put out by the BC Wildlife Federation after all. Aren’t they against hunting and trapping? Then again aren’t they all for fishing? The whole thing went over my head and I’m kicking myself for not getting out of my car and ripping the stupid phrase from that chick’s back window. There, it’s gone lady! Now I don’t have to ponder the stupidity of it.

Something that’s making me weep today:

I’m the only woman in the whole of North America who’s not attending the Blogher Conference in California this weekend! Alright, that’s a bit of an exageration. My next door neighbour isn’t going either (but she’s not a blogger. Wah!). Please note, I am going next year. I am going next year. I am going next year! Except I’m probably not because I think I’ll be at a week long Guide camp next year at this time. I am so going to Blogher in 2008! Then I can go all stalkerish on Mir (smart, witty and of course, pretty!) and Grace (and oh-my-god-Grace-can-I-please-come-to-Woolfcamp-at-your-house-too-I’ll-bring-you-a-present-I-love-your-blaaawg! And of course, pretty!) and Mary (the type of Mom every woman strives to be…beautiful family, well read, put together. And? Pretty!) and I’ll woo them all with my brilliant persona (and my ability to eat at Wendy’s 7 days a week)…as I chase them down the street with my camera and autograph book. And lo, if they’d only stop screaming. And running. And screaming, I could gush on all the damned day about how much I adore their writing. How they continually amaze me with each post. How I tune in every day to read about their lives. And, there will be others there and more others and other others, who I would be far too shy to maybe even say hello to, let alone run after them through the streets of San Francisco. But their presence alone would make me a better blogger. I know it would. Through osmosis or some such sciencey thing. So, I weep not to get to go this year. Who’s with me for 2008? Or 2007 if the opportunity presents? Laura? (we could travel together and be the “BC Blogging Mommies”…or something much less dorky yes?) Anybody? Anyone? Those rumours about me getting violently airsick were purely fabricated…

…by the BC Wildlife Federation…I saw it on a bumper sticker.

Time until I’m back with my family: 1 hour, 51 minutes

Laundry List: Well…not my running clothes, I can tell you that much.


7 responses to this post.

  1. girl, you’re not alone, I’m not going either. sigh..

  2. That makes three of us…but I think Woolfcamp is at Badgerbag’s this time. If only…

  3. I’m not going to Blogher and I’m IN California so feel too bad.

  4. Would love to visit sunny California and schmooze & party & hang out with the other bloggers. Here’s to 2008!

  5. I don’t even know what this Blogher thing is. Boy am a newbie.

    The wildlife thing, it’s saying if you teach your kids respect in the wild they will apply their knowledge to the human side of wild. The simple fact is this, keep your kids busy in whatever way and they tend to stay out of trouble therefore affecting their adult life.
    Was that more than you wanted to hear?
    Keep up the blogging I enjoy reading!

  6. ya I didn’t know about the bloggy thingy convention thingy either!!

    I feel left out….sigh

    then again I have had a martini and 2 LARGE fruit slushies with mostly rum in it so what do I know…cept that I am having to retype cuz the letters are just not coming out right!! hehe

  7. I’LL go with you…. I just spent two hours reading everyones posts about it!
    We could travel together…isnt Wisconsin close enough???

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