Ha, Ha, Pregnancy…

A couple of you have replied to my last post with all of your “ha, ha, sounds like pregnancy symptoms.” I don’t want to name any names here (Heather! The Empress! You BC girls are bad news I tell you. BAD. NEWS). Are you trying to give my MIL and FIL heart attacks? And what about me? Baby? Now? Gaaa! I just died.

I had a baby at 19. I had a second at 24. I had my last child two months before my 26th birthday. I’m 34 now. Waaaaaay too old for that shit. I was done with diapers over 6 years ago. Even with all the activity fees, school fees and clothing I pay for now my bank account stays in the black more than it did when I was shelling out for diapers and formula. I sleep EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. Eight hours. I go out with my friends occassionally. I read books. Fiction books. My kids do chores now. I haven’t washed a supper dish in months.

No babies! No, no, no. And also, NO!

Cheap Bastard and I were getting dressed the other day when I told him I was obviously dying. I haven’t had my period in 2 1/2 months and I am obviously either dying or going through early menopause. His response: “Have you ever thought that you might be pregnant? Vasectomies have been known to fail, even after eight years.”

…and then I shot him.

Time until I’m back with my family: 5 hours, 45 minutes

Period Watch 2006: Approx. Day 76

Laundry List: Not spending the $12.00 on a test that will tell me what I already know (ie: no more babies for you. The next baby in your life will be a granchild). Instead, purchase cake.

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