Wake Me Up When September Ends

September is kicking our asses financially. I should have learned by now. I’ve lived through enough Septembers. With kids. In school. Hell, I should have found a safe hideout from September by now. I should have dug a large hole in my backyard and sunk a bunker in there. A comfy haven complete with PVR and a cappuchino machine. Shoulda. Didn’t.

I just bought new cheques in August and I swear to christ that half of those babies are gone by now! It seems like every conversation I’m having with Richard lately starts with, “hey do we have enough in the account to cover…” September means school clothes and school supplies, activity fees and school fees, increased groceries for lunches, more gas in the car for taxiing the kids around. Just this week alone I have spent money on:

  • Andie’s school pics
  • Adam’s school pics
  • Adam cub shirt
  • Adam & Andie Hot Lunch
  • Ashley Field Hockey Fee
  • Ashley Photography Class – Photo Paper
  • Merritt Camp Site 2007

This weekend brings bowling for the two younger kids, new glasses for Adam and somehow we have to find some cash to pay our friends for next year’s Merritt concert tickets. I’m considering selling one of my organs. Thousands of people have functioned satisfactorily on one kidney right? It’s not really that we don’t have the money (we have it), it’s just really hard to let go of SO MUCH of it in one month. September, I hereby declare that I hate you. I hate you more than the darkness of January. September, you’re dead to me.

I have an idea for a new product for financial institutions. Forget mortgages and GICs and savings bonds and RRSPs. Those products are sooo last year. Offer parents an R.S.S.P. A Registered September Savings Plan.

Cue dark, sultry announcer voice:  “For just a few hundred dollars a day, every day, you too can save up for the most financially crippling month of the year…*dun, dun, duuhhhh*…September!”

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