A Roof to Call My Own

Sigh. I was going to write a Love Thursday post this morning, but then I stumbled upon Melissa’s Post about real estate. She is desperate to move from the house that they own now, because of the neighbourhood they live in:

There are recreational boats which are bigger than houses being stored right outside my bedroom window! There are toilets! Toilets! At 10pm I’m begging the neighbor lady to turn down her music and she’s acting as if she can’t imagine why on earth the entire neighborhood doesn’t want to listen to Willie Nelson.”

So I sat there and read the whole post…then I read all 30 billion comments (YES, I did some work this morning. A little. Enough to suffice). And then I got insanely jealous of all of those people who already had houses to buy and sell. Who already live on the main floor of the earth and can actually look out of some of their windows down into their yard and out into the street and not up into the sky like I do from my shitty basement home. People who have privacy. People who only live with their spouses and kids. People who don’t share a kitchen with my mother. People who have chosen pretty paint swatches for their walls, in colours of their choosing. People who DON’T live with my mother.

Because seriously, if I had some property to sit it on, I would live in a fridge box right now. Okay, it would have to be a box from a rather large fridge. Say 5000 square feet with four bedrooms, living room, dining room, family room, gourmet kitchen, master ensuite, indoor pool and library. I’m not fussy.

I can fully understand Melissa’s hatred of her current home and the fact that she needs to move. I’m certain it will make her feel better. Just as I’m certain that our current living situation contributes to my bouts of depression and the fact that I direct a lot of anger towards my parents. It’s all internal and I don’t say much about my feelings to them, but inside I am fuming at every little thing they say or do. And undeservedly so on their part, because what have they done but provide us with a place to live for seven years with reduced rent and free babysitting. God, I realize what an ass I am when I write that. I asshole. But then again seven years? It. Is. Hard.

So, instead of writing the Love Thursday post. Instead of extoling the virtues of my perfect children (who were, by the way, sitting on a motorbike in the picture I was gonna post. So preshus!). Instead of doing more work than was expected of me. Instead I trolled the mls listings and in the process found out that you can now get a mortgage with a 35 year amortization period! Like dude, that’s like lower monthly payments er somethin! We could have a house and pay it off by the time we’re 70. Who needs to retire when you can spend more time working! Weeeeee!

You know, I only do this every two months or so, but I set up a spreadsheet (again) and plugged in all the numbers (as usual) and figured out our monthly budget (we spend too much money…who woulda thunk it) and phoned Richard to remind me how much we bring home every cheque (no miraculous raises or bonuses in the last month…hmmm, mysterious). Turns out we CAN afford a house of our own. We CAN pay monthly for a mortgage and utilities and car payment and insurance(s) and food and gas. We CAN pay for all that. We can even have the most necessary item save for clean air to breathe and fresh water to drink…INTERNET access!

But the kids will never play on a soccer team again. Or go to Girl Guides or Cub Scouts or judo or bowling. There will be no money for clothing or school outings or vacations or family trips to the aquarium. Christmas will be cancelled.

I am an asshole, because I already knew that. I’ve done the numbers a million times and whether the amortization period is 25 years or 125 years, it isn’t possible for us to own a house right now. I already knew that and I spent today figuring myself into another fit of anger.

…another day spent wallowing in self pity. And the shattered dream of pretty paint swatches.


8 responses to this post.

  1. Honestly I don’t know how people do it? How do many of them afford the house, the vehicles, putting their kids in things, nice clothes…and all that? I don’t get it either.

    I don’t own a house – live in an apartment. I think this is where I’ll be staying for a while the way the prices are on the Island. *gasp!*

    … but have you thought of maybe going into a townhouse? They’re cheaper … aren’t they?? LOL. Crap. It sucks. But in the meantime, you’ve got a roof over your head – family around you that loves you – I think that’s pretty awesome myself and there’s probably a lot of people out there with houses that would trade you in a heartbeat 😉


  2. Yah, we have no way – short of miracle – of getting a home right now, either. So, I feel for you. Mind you, I’m not living with my parents, but there are days when I’d really like the reduced rent, and free babysitting. It’s hard, ain’t it?


  3. 2 words for you “Prince George”
    land of affordable homes, low cost of living, no traffic, no line ups in restaurants, room to breath, slower pace living…..shall I continue??

    yes is it like the middle of the Province but there are not many places left that you can buy a NICE home… HOME not condo or townhome for less that $250,000!!! and you can buy ones less than that too…they might need a bit of work…but they are in the right price range for that!

    k stepping off soap box now


  4. Heh, I know what you mean. Here I am, 43, no equity, no savings, nothing to show for the fact that I’ve been working my butt off for 24 years. Interestingly enough, I live in my Mother’s house, she only visits but she never lets me forget that it’s her house. The rent is cheap but the overhead is high and free babysitting? Ha! Really? Do some people actually have parents who think past their own needs? I wouldn’t know about that. Last time my Mom was here she was complaining because I had to work and couldn’t wait on her hand and foot. I said “Well, I have to support my family.” To which she responded, “Oh, really? I thought I was supporting you.” Nice, eh? Because my rent is cheap she’s “supporting” me.

    Never mind the favors that I do for her, never mind the fact that this house is paid for and has been for 10 years, never mind the fact that I’m actually paying her equity loan so she can upgrade her cabin in Canada, none of that counts. But by gawd, if she so much as buys groceries while she’s here she’s going to complain about it and add it on to my bill!

    Anyway, not trying to say my situation is worse, just that I can relate. I mean, at least my Mom isn’t here ALL the time. Plus, you don’t mention it but I bet your parents get lots of perks from having you around that you don’t even think about. Maybe they should be grateful that you put up with their crap.

    I’m sorry if I sound bitter, but it’s been 14 years for me and no matter how I improve things or increase my rent or try to show my gratitude it will never be enough. But I have a place to live in a nice neighborhood and that’s enough for me and my family. I just worry about the future because we have nothing to fall back on but social security and who knows what’s going to happen to that.


  5. Buying a house here sucks, truly. We, too, can just afford a half-decent house, along with car payment, insurance, food, clothing, gas, etc., but will have to scrape up for any sundries we may desire. Hence, we’re looking for a house with a suite to combat the super duper high mortgage payment. I hate the idea of sharing my house but we did it before and it just makes sense to have someone else help pay for your mortgage.

    But until then? We are hanging out with my parents (and have been for 2 months already while we were renovating and selling the condo). I feel for you. I spend a lot of time at http://www.canadamortgage.com putting in all kinds of numbers. Plus I recently did up a spreadsheet (I heart Excel) to see how poor we’re really going to be.

    A townhouse might be an option, but even they are getting pricey, plus you have to add the couple hundred bucks for the strata fee every month. Your payment ends up not much less than a house, but a house has higher maintenance (hot water tanks and furnaces and roofs and heating bills). I’d be into a townhouse but hubby is dead set against one.

    I’m rambling – sorry! Hang in there!


  6. I just did the 35 year mortgage thing.

    I know it was stupid, but I am so fricking happy living in this house.


  7. Google is the best search engine


  8. i hear that toos!


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