Wishing for fade to black

From Dan Murphy in the Vancouver Province, Sunday, November 12, 2006:

MONDAY

Rain.

TUESDAY

Rain, interspersed with showers, turning into rain later in the day.

WEDNESDAY

Periods of clearing during which it will rain, followed by falling laptops, followed by rain.

NEXT FRIDAY

Early morning rain, but in the afternoon look for rain.

DECEMBER

Rain.

JANUARY — MAY 2007

Sunny, by which we mean rain.

JUNE 2007

Heavy downpour of editorials denying extreme weather due to global warming, followed by global warming, followed by rain.

2007 –2050

Watery deluge of Biblical proportions, interspersed with showers and ark-building and rain.

NEW YEAR’S DAY, 2051

Rain.


The rain is whipping sideways from the East at a rate of 5 million miles per hour directly at the windows behind my cubicle. The trees in the parking lot are looking awfully splindly perched on their 8-10 inch trunks. I’m picturing one of those trees flying through the thin glass and on its way through the office one of the branches will spear its woody self into my head. I hope they let me go home early if that happens.

Us peons in the office have been waiting all day for a blackout. Computers down. All eight phone lines silent. Darkness.

Put on a life jacket and swim home suckas!

Also, a day long blackout tomorrow would be so sweet with me having Friday off. It would make this last week a resounding success. Three day weekend, followed by a two day work week, followed by a four day weekend. Schweet!

Dear God, please send a tree through my office window and also can I get all six numbers on tonight’s 6/49? Sincerely, me.

P.S. (but not a P.S. to the Dear God letter. Just a P.S. to readers). I got the pea coat for Ashley last night after work. Lucky break for me too, because the sales girl was all broken hearted that I was buying the last small. She was planning to buy it when she finished her shift! I’m so glad I got it. Ashley’s talked about nothing but that damned “Rory Coat” since Monday night and has reminded me no less than eleventy-nine times that I need to go and buy it. I have remained vague on the subject and may have stated last night that I’d forgotten she wanted that coat and I sure hope they still have one on Friday when I get paid. Now to find a suitable place to hide it. If she wasn’t such a great help to me in the house I might stash it in the broom closet or the dryer. Maybe I’ll go out to the van right now and bring it into the office.

…hopefully it doesn’t suffer any damage from the flying trees.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: