The Contest will come out TOMORROW…

(Edited at about 2:19 on Wednesday afternoon:  you still have a little over nine hours to comment on this post and win, win, WIN!!!  Thanks to everyone who has commented so far.  adder has already won the fourth commenter prize, but the LAST COMMENTER prize is still up for grabs!)

…bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow, or the next day or after the weekend, there’ll be a contest!  

Okay, so clearly “tomorrow” doesn’t mean the same thing for me as it does for almost everyone else in the world. As a habitual procrastinator the word TOMORROW means anything that happens after today I guess. And preferably (and more conveniently, so I don’t have to start worrying about it right now) far, far into the future. For example:

Tomorrow is Christmas.

Tomorrow I will be drawing my pension and walking with a cane.

Tomorrow I will enjoy my grandchildren.

Anyways, I have finally got the details of the contest together and they are at the end of this post. Except I guess it’s not really a contest. More like a giveaway. I don’t want to get arrested for running a gambling operation without a license. Internet police look away! This is not a contest! This is GIVEAWAY!

But first a post:


I finally found a coat worthy of my affections and bought it on Saturday. It’s a brown suede number with a fake-fur collar (please do not throw paint at this time. FAKE). I was all set to buy a Pea Coat, but when I really scrutinized myself in the store mirror I was unhappy with the way it gaped on the back pleat. If there’s anything this plus sized diva doesn’t need it’s Evidence That I Have Lots of Back Fat (also, Ashley was glad I didn’t buy a pea coat like hers. I understand being twins with your Mom when you go out is frowned upon among the high school set). When I tried on the brown one though, I was in love and my shopping companion, Andie, said it looked really cool. Which? Coming from a ten (and a half!) year old girl who will only wear sweat pants, ponytails and rapper hats tilted sideways – I took it as a compliment and bought the coat.

I wore it when we went out to dinner on Sunday for my Dad’s 60th birthday celebration. My brother and his family came along also and my two year-old nephew Colm was enamoured with the fur collar.

Colm: What dis Vicky?

Me: That’s my cat fur. (I know! I’m the best Aunt EVER!)

Colm: It you cat Pizza?

Me: No, it’s my headless cat.

Colm: You cat have no head? Where cat eyes. Where cat nose? Where cat mouf? Cat have no legs? Oh, pretty! Where cat head?….

…and on and on all night. Also, Ashley was disgusted with me because I told her it was real fur. Rare Alaskan Grey Beaver. My parenting skills are stellar no?


My friend Natalie made her son clean out some of his stuff on the weekend and she gave me a whole big Ziploc bag full of Pokemon cards for Andie and Adam last night. When I got up this morning I found Adam staring lovingly at the bag on my desk.

Adam: What is that bag of Pokemon cards over there for Mom?

Me: Natalie’s son was cleaning out his room and she gave them to me for you guys.

Adam: Oh my God! Tell Natalie her son is an angel!

When I left for work he was methodically sorting and resorting them and exclaiming over each new one. I don’t understand the world of Pokemon myself…”Pikachu, Ash, Globblehenger, Booblefunger, Blah, Blah, Blah” Hrmph, I’d rather watch a good episode of the Flintstones myself, but what do I know about cartoons?



So, did you guys know that it’s DELURKING WEEK in the blogosphere? It is. It totally is. Sheryl at Paper Napkin says so and she’s like a blogging rockstar, so we have to listen to her (lesson: always listen to celebrities). Also, I first heard about this last year during delurking week from Chris and Beth (Chris and Beth…also blogging celebrities. Think famous like Brittany and K-Fed only happily married and five million times smarter. No, think more sincere like Faith Hill and Tim McGraw only better looking and uhm, nix the country music. Yeah, I’m not coming up with great comparisons here, but I heart Chris and Beth).

Anyways, it’s about COMMENTING and we all know I am a COMMENT WHORE, meaning I save them all and put them away in dust-free bags and ocassionally I take them all out and pet them gently and call them George and sometimes I might utter, “My Precious” in a low trollesque voice in their little comment ears.

During Delurking Week you are required to comment on every single blog you read. Say “hi”. Say “I like your blog”. Say “I read your blog every single day and if you haven’t updated yet I refresh and refresh and refresh and if you still haven’t updated then I stake out your house and peer through your windows with my night vision goggles and then I leave a bag of flaming poo on your step and ring the doorbell, so at least then you’ll have something to blog about.” Even just a “Happy Delurking Week! I was here” is acceptable.

So, I got to thinking, what could I give to people to inspire them to comment here at Procrastamom? Money? Nope, Cheap Bastard wouldn’t let me. Apparently we don’t have a lot of it to give away (WHAT-EVER!). Junk that I finally cleaned out of our storage room and was gonna give away to Goodwill anyways? Nope, no styrofoam chips and boxes for packaging and mailing. My children? No, I’m thinking that may be frowned upon.

Did you know that I make greeting cards? True story. I make greeting cards, with rubber stamps mostly. Actually, my Mom and I make greeting cards. She’s really into Christmas cards and I’m really not into Christmas cards. Mostly I make pretty blank cards and thank-you cards and cards to give to friends and cards to give to enemies to make them feel bad for being so mean to you, because how could they be so mean when you’re willing to give them a pretty greeting card? Smarten up Enemy Person!

I hope you like greeting cards, because that’s what I’m going to give away. I’ll send you blank ones complete with envelopes so that you can fill them out for your own enemies…to soften them up and such.

Warning: these pictures are really bad. Clearly, the “just point and shoot” instructions on my camera are all lies! That and the fact that I shake like a frickin leaf when I try to hold the camera and take pictures.

First up is this set of lovely cards:

Ahhhhh. Ohhhhhhh. Eeeeeee! I will send this set of three greeting cards to the FOURTH COMMENTER of this post. One of my 2007 resolutions was to get at least four comments on each post, so I’m hoping my contest giveaway is at least successful enough to warrent four comments. I don’t care how you do it, whether one person actually writes four separate comments to get there or four separate people post comments…this prize is going to the FOURTH COMMENTER of this post.

Secondly, this set of cards:

is going to landismom, because when I set my goal of 4 comments in that post, she was the fourth commenter there (she even said so in her comment!). Additionally, landismom has read here since the birth of this humble (ha!) little blog and she has always found time to comment. I heart me some Bumblebee Sweet Potato. landismom, email me your address and I’ll throw these in the mail for you. And thanks for always being here and for your excellent comments.

Finally, Lastly and Thirdicly:

This set of cards will be won by the LAST PERSON TO COMMENT on this post before Midnight Pacific Standard Time on Wednesday, January 10th (edited to add:  that’s Wednesday night at midnight, so you still have a whole day to comment!). You can comment as many times as you like and return to comment whenever you like and if you’re on the East Coast or in England you can stay up all night commenting and commenting just so you can win a whole three greeting cards! It’ll be like Ebay! Only you’ll be bidding with comments! And you won’t have to pay for postage!

Winners will be contacted by email and required to give a shipping address to have their cards sent to them. Remember, when corresponding with a stranger on the internet, postal boxes and work addresses are safer than home addresses. But if you give me your home address I will not sell any of your information…

…or skulk outside your house with my night vision goggles…

…or leave a flaming bag of poo on your step.

The commenting starts now.



24 responses to this post.

  1. Oh, I am so touched! That is really sweet, thank you.


  2. Posted by adder on January 9, 2007 at 5:12 pm

    damn – i want some – can we pretend i am fourth


  3. Posted by adder on January 9, 2007 at 5:13 pm

    oh does it count if i do this


  4. Posted by adder on January 9, 2007 at 5:13 pm

    then this? Now i am 4th!


  5. Oh that’s crap! Adder you’re CHEATING! I’m telllllllinnnnnggggggg! ‘crastamom….she’s cheating! Well, that puts me in as the third LEGAL commentor, so suck, I’m out of the running. I’d stay up all night and comment, but this bitch has to work, and pretend to take care of her children. SO CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NEXT PERSON TO COMMENT, CUZ I’M SURE AS HELL NOT THE WINNER! I know you’ve been sitting there waiiiiiiiting for some sucker to post at #3, just so you could win the fergaliscious prize. Hope you get a paper cut when you lick the envelope… or better yet, mail me a card, I can be a really good enemy! I need softening up! Peace out!


  6. So, am I the “legal” 4th commenter. Or does “adder” get it….seriously! I hope I at least have a fighting chance.


  7. Posted by Viewsfromtwo on January 9, 2007 at 8:06 pm

    Now I’m just sad. 😦 I’ve been refreshing and refreshing and refreshing just waiting for your contest, oops, I mean giveaway and now I’m either your 7th or 5th commenter, I’m not quite sure at this point. I knew I shouldn’t have gone to work today!


  8. Found you by way of DGM…I think that’s where I was…anyway just stopping over to say “Hey”.
    I’ll stop by again some time. BTW, did you ever let your hubby get a dog and name it Jackaninny? Cause if not…I’m totally claiming that name for my next pet! I may even go out and buy a pet just to name it Jackaninny! Awww, what the heck…you are a couple of provinces away, not likely that our pets path with ever cross.


  9. I don’t think me posting will win anything… but man those are nice cards! 🙂


  10. Chris is really the celebrity, I’m just riding his coat tails. 🙂


  11. I suspect that the time difference will mean that I won’t get last-poster prize, even though it is bedtime for me over here in England 🙂


  12. Here’s my comment, but seeing as it’s only 6:48pm here in the Fraser Valley, I”m sure this is the winning comment.


  13. Ahhhhhh – That should have said isn’t, not is. What a dork I am!


  14. Am I the last poster?


  15. What time zone are we in?


  16. Will you be serving margaritas? Cuz if not, then I’m not going to hang out any longer.




  18. wouldn’t you just shit if i posted all night?


  19. would there be a special prize for being post #69?


  20. damn, you SO owe me. I post here, but no posties on my blogie thingy?


  21. i want the coat with the fur collar.


  22. Posted by Viewsfromtwo on January 10, 2007 at 11:46 pm

    I love the change in the look of the blog, so fresh! I wish I could wait until midnight and ensure myself that final commentor spot, but alas, work awaits. Here’s hoping everyone else has already gone to bed!


  23. […] Old Blog ← The Contest will come out TOMORROW… […]


  24. hey! de-lurking even though I know I have no chance of winning anything 🙂


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