Now I feel the need to explain my filthy baseboards

I took a shower last night and I think I forgot to wash my hair. It feels like a reddish brown sweater covered in lard is draped over my head. I’m fighting the urge to run into the employee bathroom, stick my head under the tap and wash my hair with the cheap-ass handsoap. Me so sexy.

I may not look super hot today, but Adam makes up for it (I think he’s giving Lucas Rossi a run for his money). I took some pictures this morning of his rock star look before I left for work. And because I did everything so quickly – took the pictures, uploaded them to Flickr, finally got dressed, then left for work 20 minutes late – I didn’t notice all of the filth in the background of these pictures until I got to work. Ugh, slum much? Evidently, I haven’t put a wet cloth to those walls and baseboards in a long time, much less painted them in the last seven years. The mirrors? The mirrors I can explain. I like to keep them dirty. It obscures my image and makes me feel better about how I look, especially in the mornings when I just throw on some clothes and forgo the makeup for that Au Natural look. Little wonder I didn’t notice my greasy hair this morning until I was driving to work and the weight on my shoulders felt about 10 pounds too heavy.

I just wanted to give those excuses now, because I KNOW you all would be thinking it when you clicked on the pictures. “Oh my God! Does she ever clean anything? Those poor children must live in hell! Somebody should intervene! Wait, is that a Stephen King novel on the bookshelf. I read that one, it was really good!”

Devil Horns! (because he lives in filth level of hell, remember?)

Adam wanted a picture of this tattoo, because he says he’s getting one just like it on his hand the day he turns 16. I have 7 years to talk him out of it.

“Hey baby. Come on over here and sit at my feet and swoon while I practice my rock star pout.”

“These are NOT more devil horns. I’m calling Social Services on you Mom. I cannot live in this hole any more!”

…sigh. Another busy evening ahead. I have a date with Mr. Clean.


13 responses to this post.

  1. Baseboards? Seriously? That’s all you got? Honey, please. Come over here for a while. No, don’t. I couldn’t let you in, because of the FILTH.

  2. Please. If you could see my shower curtain, you would recoil in horror. The tattoo? Much cuteness, I must say.

  3. Oops. Are you actually supposed to CLEAN baseboards? Phooey, just one more reason I’m NOT going to get The Martha Stewart Good Housekeeping Mom of the Year Award.
    And I was so looking forward to it this year, had my dress picked out for the awards ceremony and everything. *sigh*

  4. Baseboards schmaseboards. You have no idea how little I care about my baseboards.

  5. You make me laugh. Yes, it was rather astute of him to call social services. I wonder if they’ll send Mr. Clean over to “cuff& stuff” you into the patrol car.

  6. Your Adam looks as crazy as mine!

    I don’t have baseboards….I just have brown walls where they SHOULD be builder beige.

    My dh cleaned our big mirror the other day……that was weird!

  7. LOL… I applaud you for posting the pictures despite the dirty baseboards (btw- I’d never have noticed if you hadn’t pointed it out!) there’s been more than once when I took a picture that I intended to post, looked closer and though, “I can’t post that! People will see how dirty my carpet is (or similar!)”
    It’s pathetic, really.

  8. oops… forgot I also wanted to add- I love your tagline and blog title!!

  9. Oh. Honey. We have to MOVE to get away from the filth in our house! You think your baseboards are bad? Come to my house. Seriously. You’ll feel like Martha Stewart after you leave.

  10. Okay you are kidding right? RIGHT? That same door at MY house would have a ketchup handprint on it. Right ontop of the chocolate smear. Right NEXT to the strawberry filled donut goo. yo.

  11. Posted by Debbie on April 5, 2007 at 9:44 pm

    Baseboards….what about the bathroom…….lol
    Ya know I love ya!

  12. All I see in those photos, is a handsome (and unique!) kid! 🙂

  13. I’m looking at your baseboards… 😉

    Love his “tattoo.”

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