I want to rock and roll all night…

…and party every day. Looky Daddy is putting up a new masthead every day this month, using pictures submitted by his readers. Maybe I should have sent this one of Adam to him:
adam demanding
But, like most posts I read, I viewed this one in my Google Reader and once you click off it’s erased forever. And I seem to forget all contests/submissions/blogathons as soon as I click away. I’m flaky like that. So I never did submit it. Then again, maybe I should just post that pic as my OWN masthead. Would it draw ya’ll in?

Anyways, it wasn’t the content of that post that got me thinking, but rather the title And Party Every Day. Up until he was in his late 20’s, my brother Ivan thought the lyrics to that song were, “I want to rock and roll all night…and part of every day.” When he finally admitted that (and we stopped rolling around on the ground laughing. The kind of laughing where it’s really hard to breathe? The kind where you’re holding your sides cause they’re in pain!), he maintained that really those should have been the lyrics because who can rock and roll all night AND party every day? I mean every single day, ALL day? Wouldn’t you get tired? At least if you rocked and rolled only part of every day, you’d have time for a nap. You know, kind of like this:
ivan and the marshmallowThat’s our Ivan after a particularly hard night of poker and camping…and Coronas.

(Oh, my parents are British, can you tell? When we’re describing a member of our family we don’t say “Jane did this” or “Robbie did that”. It’s always our Jane or our Robbie. That’s how British people talk. They don’t speak English like us)

So, our Ivan is a real hoot to hang out with. With Ivan you will spend an inordinate amount of time on the floor doing the aforementioned laughing. Because he’s seriously an idiot. He’s always saying something ridiculous or getting into stupid accidents. He bangs his head A LOT and we long ago stopped taking him to playgrounds. Playgrounds were pure danger for him. Like, he would jump off a swing and land squarely on his ass. He once tried to follow Ashley down a bendy slide and banged his head on the bar at the top of the slide. Ever seen a nearly dead person drift down a slide? I have.

But the best altercation he ever had at a playground, and we tell and retell this story all the time when we’re spouting Ivanisms, is when he got into a verbal sparring match with an eight year-old. He was 21. Him and I had 3 year-old Ashley at the playground and she was showing off her mad preschooler monkey bar skillz to her Uncle Ivan. This obnoxious little show-off eight year-old comes along (no parents in sight…which only kind of bothers me a little this many years later) and starts preening and crowing about how anybody can do the monkey bars and see? He can do them easy and that little kid of yours is nothing special because she can’t even do it with her eyes closed like he can. So my brother makes some offhand remark about bratty little snot-nosed kids and goes about maneuvering the monkey bars himself.

Obnoxious Kid: “See, you can’t do it Fat Ass!”

Ivan: *sputter*sputter* “Uhm, what?”

O.K.: “Hey Buddy, the elephant called. He wants his butt back.”

Ivan: “What the hell? How old are you?”

O.K.: “I’m eight Elephant Butt!”

Ivan: “Shut-up Thelma!”

O.K.: “You shut-up…Louise!”

Yep, so that’s our Louise….


3 responses to this post.


    The post was funny…AND it sent me on a search that lead me to this: http://www.kissthisguy.com
    which is “the” archive of misheard song lyrics.
    Lots of fun, should keep you fairly busy and laughing while you should be working and paying people and stuff like that.
    I think I snorted twice while reading it! (Snorting is my measure of how funny something is…)


  2. “The kind of laughing where it’s really hard to breathe? The kind where you’re holding your sides cause they’re in pain!” Yes! This is the kind of laughter I just experienced reading this post. And part of every day…oh God. I had to reach across my desk for a tissue mid-paragraph.


  3. OMG I had to LOL at the “Ever seen a nearly dead person drift down a slide? ” remark…


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