Much Ado About Lunchtime

We had nothing to do
We had nothing to say
So instead we wrote letters
That slow, boring Friday

We wrote letters about lunchtime
And what we would eat
We wrote formal correspondence
About french fries with meat

About how we would consume such
On a Friday so slow
But we did not tell our bosses of our boredom
Oh no no, no no

For new work they would find us
That of filing old docs
And we would rather be bored silly
Than deal with that pox

So letters we wrote
Letters of plenty
And this for your info
Is the very first entry:

Dear (Regis & )Kathy-Lee:

Did you bring lunch? Check yes or no:

Yes ( )

No ( )

I forgot my lunch, will have to go to Creekside. Do you want to walk with me?

V.

Her response it was swift
And affirmative too
We would go out for lunch
And eat fast food goo:

Dear Miss Vicky,

I would love to walk to Creekside with you @ lunch, consider it a date

P.S. please note that I did check the applicable box below on your luncheon questionnaire

Thank you and kindest regards,

Mrs. Kathleen Middlename Lastname

I provide the remainder
For your reading delight
In case your Friday too
Is one of boredom and fright*:

Dear Miss Kathleen,

Thank you for your letter of November 30th, 2007 regarding that to which you refer. I look forward to collaborating with you on this matter.

Should you have any questions or concerns before our appointment, please direct them to my Secretary.

I remain,

Mrs. Victoria Middlename Lastname

Dear Ms. Victoria Middlename Lastname,

WITHOUT PREJUDICE

Thank you for your response date November 30th, 2007 regarding our confirmed luncheon date plan. I too look forward to the collaboration on this matter, and better still, I look forward to the food which will be consumed.

I do have two very important questions, what time and where shall we meet?

Can you please have your peoples contact my peoples so that this arrangement can be made?

I too remain – in my seat,
Kathleen Middlename Lastname

P.S. My zipper in my jeans keeps falling down and this dear friend is both not professional for office attire or a pretty site!

Dear Mrs. Kathleen Middlename Lastname:

VIA EMAIL
PRIVATE & CONFIDENTIAL

Re: Luncheon meeting of November 30, 2007

The following is a proposed agenda of the above noted meeting. Please confirm your orders to my Secretary at this email address and she will commence with the ordering at exactly 11:45 o’clock.

Items on the Agenda:
1. Now: Decide what to eat
2. 11:45: Order food by phone
3. 12:00: Walk to Creekside
4. 12:04: Arrive at Creekside
5. 12:05: (approx.) Pay for food
6. Discuss the walking back to office and the consumption of food.

We hope this meets with your expectations.

Sincerely and also Patriotically,

Mrs. Victoria Middlename Lastname, Esquire

/vml
copy to file

Our luncheon was had
It was delightful you see
Clubhouse for her
Chicken Caesar for me

Dear Victoria,

I would like to extend my sincerest thanks today for the luncheon, it was lovely, and we should do it again soon.

Thanks,
Kathy

Dearest Kathy,

I would like to thank you for the thank you letter, thanking me for the thankful lunch we shared today. I have never been happier or more completely full. Of food. You’re absolutely right, it was lovely.

We must lunch again soon. I will have my Butler** arrange it with my Secretary who will talk to your Personal Scheduler who will in turn collaborate with your Calendar Keeper.

Kindest regards,
Victoria

(*it was the only word that rhymed. I never claimed to be a professional poet)

(**do you think I have a fixation with Butlers maybe?  A fetish?)

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3 responses to this post.

  1. Too funny! I wish I could write poetry at work.

    Reply

  2. Posted by missmamamoon on November 30, 2007 at 7:44 pm

    “Blight” would have worked as well. I’m just sayin’…

    P.S. I have a WICKED poet inside me. You have teased her into coming out…maybe.

    Reply

  3. Posted by CanadianCarrie on November 30, 2007 at 11:10 pm

    Better than the Comedy Network and Backstage with Binder any day! Took me back to High School…can you believe I kept most of the notes between friends/classes for a few yrs after HS??!!

    Reply

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